Renat's Pages

Just another weblog


Day 13th. Nothing much. O yeah, I’ve look around to check out some other blogs, and it’s really make me feel so tiny, they’re all so bright, cool, entertaining, up to date, and mostly great. And when I look at my blog.. haha.. it’s almost like a diary. But that’s the way I enjoy blogging. I don’t know, beside I miss the one who hold my heart, my feeling just so.. plain. Today.. I’ll start sumthing bad. I put my mone on world cup bets..hahahha.  Newbie in this betting universe, but I’m gon give my shoot, maybe I’ll received the beginner’s luck.. who knows.. hahaha.

Ok.. that’s it. Enjoy your life peeps! (while you could)


Cik Ey

Just the day 12th, i didn’t go to work today. Got a lot of time I spend wit my mom. But tonight im gonna write about my neighbor named Cik Ey.

Cik ey, is a woman about 35 years old. Why im gonna write about her, because im jealous of her. She is a funny woman with loud-medium-woman vocal. She selling foods for living. She always look smile and very happy. Unless when shit happen, she still have a slight of smile on her face. Unless she is funny, she is famous by her honesty, isn’t that so make me jealous (whahaha). Life to be honest, and just giving smile is an extra hard way of life. But that is just so pure. So holly, so wisdom, so peaceful, and so, and so the great things. Far as I know, she haven’t married (should I go for her.. hehe) but with that kind of reality, she still smile and funny all the way, plus honest.. wow.

(sorry I don’t get a chance to take sum picture of her.. hahaha) so imaging a 35 years old Chinese, with a big glasses and short hair like pink (singer). Hehehe..

Me, take a lot of faith from Cik Ey. God love us all rite? We are all not a sad puppet waiting for a bad destiny. And Cik Ey right here, is one of His sign on this world, one of His shiny angel in this world. According to the fact, im bitching, im so jealous with Cik Ey… so im gon act Cik Ey.

Have a great time Y’all. Thanks for reading.

Song Cry – Jay Z

I can’t see it comin down my eyes
So I gotta make the song cry
I can’t see it comin down my eyes
So I gotta make the song cry
Yeah I seen ’em comin down your eyes
But I gotta make the song cry
I can’t see it comin down my eyes
So I gotta make the song cry

A face of stone, was shocked on the other end of the phone
Word back home is that you had a special friend
So what was oh so special then?
You have given away without gettin at me
That’s your fault, how many times you forgiven me?
How was I to know that you was plain sick of me?
I know the way im livin was whack
But you don’t get a stupid man like me back like that!
Shit I’m a man with pride, you don’t do shit like that
You don’t just pick up and leave and leave me sick like that
You don’t throw away what we had, just like that
I was just fuckin them girls, I was gon’ get right back
They say you can’t turn a bad girl good
But once a good girl’s goin bad, she’s gone forever..
I’ll mourn forever
Shit I gotta live with the fact I did you wrong forever

Me starting the 12th day

21 Questions

11th Day. Today, just ok and just almost fine.

Anyway, do you know where you will be after we die? Heaven? A blind spot on your head? Or may be reincarnation?  

If you believe in God, why you telling lies?

When your mother ask you about your future, do you really know what your plans are?

Everybody got problems, did you know that they just pretends to solve their problems?

Who am I?

We know the world is really broken, why we still smoke, throw a lot of trash everywhere, never think about saving electricity or oil?

When your religion being jacked, what will you do?

When we are out of water because global warming.. do still loving your fancy pool?

Do you love kids?

Are we really want a 3rd world war?

Baby, do you love me?

When we love to see our beautiful smiley face on the mirror, do really want your enemies laugh with you?

Do you believe in sacrifice?

While you having sex with your beloved one. Do you really enjoy the atmosphere of togetherness around you, or just concentrate on you dick? (or your pussy)

Do you believe in God.

Where you will be when the world is end?

What you know about honest?

What will you choose between love and truth?

How many sin you’ve made?

Do you have a father?

Who the fuck are you?

Give me a try.

Today is the 10th Day, gosh still a long routes I have to deal with. Tuesday today I still miss her so bad. So my inside-smartass-devil want to try some shoot. Im gonna write a poem, but in Indonesian language, so for international reader (like my blog even matter for the them. FLOL) y’all could use the Enjoy… (if u didn’t .. consider it just a boost for your bad mood today.. ^.^)  

Saat Dia terlelap

Udara ini mengirim pesan

Seakan mengalir halus tanpa kiasan

Dengan jeda di nadi

Jarak mengukur memisah badan

Saat dia terlelap

Aku berdiri merindukannya

Aku terluka menahan inginnya

Aku berlari mengejar angannya


Mati tanpanya


Day Nine. So here is… the day 9th, it feels… better. So the Buddhism is right, or may be because I was cheating. I’ve called her, that’s more than a cure. Today, my friends are up in the deck, help me. Diana, Yuda, Adri, Roy, and Lia really a helpful reinforcement.

One thing I learn about today is.. don’t go too fast or you will skip your own age and your beautiful moments you’ve passed. So, I have to pay attention about everything around me, what I have, what I should have and what kind of things I shouldn’t have. One of dialogue spoken by Denzel in the movie called Book of Eli said “People had more then they needed, we had no idea what was precious, what wasn’t. We threw away things people kill each other for now or future”. So damn yea I’m gonna pay attention on everything around me. Hope y’all too homies!

After Saturday

Day eight. I don’t believe my self I can make through until this day without hurting my body. See that love.. you make me change, at least. After Saturday, good things keep coming. After I heard her voice, after I got her text, after I saw her.. ohh…. After she doubt her love on me, pity me. But again after Saturday, Today at church I captured power weapon. I’m gonna keep it, when it comes the pain I’ll use my weapon to kill ‘em all.

The past week, you know if you read my previous post, was a dark week. But I’ll hope for better ones tomorrow. Never lose hope.  Baby.. if you there after my words.. just don’t lose on hope.

Thanx God for Sunday, Thanx God for my Mom,  my Love,  my Friends, ma vie…


Day six(sick). i really expect for the ninth, the old Buddhism said that after 9 days human done another routing it will become a new habits or path of life. I don’t understand why every time I deal with this personal thing my sefl turn to be a donkie man, not a happy selfish man. Or maybe im so selfish with this personal thing. All I know is.. I do sick. This is remain me of our basic things, here it goes

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I’m alone
Cause right now it says that we
Can’t come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cause you walked out the door
But it’s the only way I hear your voice anymore
(it’s ridiculous)
It’s been months
And for some reason I just
(can’t get over us)
And I’m stronger than this
(enough is enough)
No more walking round
With my head down
I’m so over being blue
Crying over you

And I’m so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I’m so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can’t I turn off the radio? 

So sick – Neyo


Day Five. Now the strange feeling im told y’al about yesterday, goes down into my stomache. Hahaha. Thanx God. Lest Hope for better step i will make today.

Oyea. World Cup is about to come up. Get ready for it. Hehehe.

Bomb Triger

Day Four. This day, i woke up with a dark feeling on my head. Sumthing inside my chest feel like wanna blow up. My Bomb. Help me with this one.. Lord.