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Little Kid

Tonight, im just typing black fonts to a big space of white page. You know, when you are losing in this life, you feel the whole world look down on you. Then we have to stand up, smile, tell everyone else that we’re okay, walking tall like we ready to the next fight. I lost my mind, lost my gurl. But all of this gone wrong because of me. I do a lot of stupid things, and the most stupid is.. I really feel that im not the only one who made this mess happen. I still feel that I’m a victim, victim of lie, victim of ego, and victim of social. I just feel that way, even I know I do wrong, I still believe that my fault is not a big full of lie. I have to move on, but I can, how come I could say that I’m a Man.

Im really scare, because after 2003, everything always gone wrong, even if I try not to make it wrong. I love my mom and ma vie. And I need they to love me back…

I guess.. I’m just a little kid in a 27 years old man body.


The Start

The afternoon is going rough. End with my endless night in front of my new screen. I don’t know, this is not my war and this is not my fault to be dumb. But the words that own the world push me to do the right things. Love. that words will blur as much as the blur it self.  Today, if i really get along with my Lord, i rather to rewind the day. Make this day like another day with her. Full of my world.

Like the big hit movie. Everybody will get in the line to see the movie. And they’re all start with their on spot. So here i am @ my spot. The Start. Gonna be exciting ( i choose sound positive, if i don’t, this blog will full of my mother-mocking-tongue of english). I just believe i will see the big screen and smile.

I want ma vie.

The Winning Days… i missed it

Never know when those day gonna come back again. I still have a lot of memories that i will never forget and some that i wish never happened. The space between reality and my imagination seems collapse to be close.. and i stuck on that gap.

I have a star. A very bright star. My guidance. All i have to do is life for my star. I have plenty of stars in my world. They always shine for me. And Those winning days, they stick above me, watching me with their love.

I believe.. someday i’ll found my way back to those winning days.

Me In a text mode

Original ordinary man. Without padle. Without limp. Tryin to be a famous rapper, a dope programmer, and a nice man. Right now, my lil life is realy mess.. but like others, im tryin 2 hold on and go on.

and this is 4 me … and sum of you dat lost… hehehe. i like this one.

For the Lost

  Oh! Meandering Sons of Darkness
where are your shadows?
come out to the light
and have a look at your self
gaze down at your tattered self
discern your lost identity
revive your shattered voice
balsam your shrilled life
this life …is not life eternal
there is life across the horizon
there is something redeemed
things beyond dither
seek! seek! for the lost faces
tear the mask …throw it away
live! live! the present day
find…peace in truth
Carmalin Sophia

if u just read this, thanx man.. gurl, or whatever.